Camp Woodland Blog

Wendy Mogel’s best selling book, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, resonates with parents and camp leaders alike. Dr. Mogel has spoken at camp conferences over the years, and she continues to be active in the camp community. If you haven’t had a chance to read The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, we highly recommend it. In addition to sharing about the importance of letting our kids take healthy risks, and not always rescuing them from failure, Mogel gives many other valuable insights. She has recognized the value of camp experiences in the development of emotionally healthy kids, as you can read in the article “Camp Blessings” on her website.

A question we often get asked, especially by kids who haven’t yet been to Woodland, is “What if I don’t want to do an activity?” Sometimes it starts with a statement, “I don’t like horses or I’m not good at tennis. Do I have to do that activity?”

Our answer to that question is that you don’t HAVE to take a particular activity, and this year we will also say that you GET to go with your cabin group and will be encouraged to TRY most activities. Because the first few days of camp will have us sticking to our cabin pods, this will allow a unique opportunity for campers to really see firsthand what each activity is about (instead of relying on their own preconceived notions or parent influence) before committing to a schedule of 6 activities for a 2-week period.

There are several reasons kids are reluctant to do a particular activity, and they are the same reasons why adults often choose to forgo some recreational options:

1.  A previous negative experience with the activity, usually not at camp and not with experienced instructors.

Falling off a horse, not getting up on water skis after several tries, or getting rained out on a camping trip are all examples of negative experiences that make a person naturally inclined not to want to try again.

2.  Fear!

Fear of being humiliated. Fear of failure. Fear of heights. Fear of lake water. Fear of animals. Fear of going to the bathroom in the woods. Fear of getting hurt. The list goes on and on.

3.  Based on their perception of themselves or their past successes/failures, they think they won’t like it.

No point in giving an activity another go if it is not in their normal repertoire of things youth like and/or are good at. It is also our experience that kids often think they should be proficient at something on the first try. If an activity was attempted at one time with minimal success, then the activity is often taken off the list completely for future consideration.

There are other reasons for kids to not want to do an activity, but these are three that readily come to mind from what campers have told us over the years. Interestingly, the reasons kids don’t want to do an activity are the very reason for trying the activity and may be the best thing that happens at camp for that camper.

If a child doesn’t want to do an activity because of a previous negative activity, trying it at camp could lead to either a changed mind (and a new activity they like) or, at the very least, a not-as-negative experience to remember. We believe that “it takes a lot of slow to grow” and that it may take time (and failure) before experiencing success. Woodland staff are good at breaking down various skills and recognizing incremental progress – no matter how small the “win”. They also measure success by the ruler of the individual and not someone else’s ruler.

If a camper doesn’t want to do an activity because of fear, then trying the activity could be the most life-changing event that occurs for that camper during their camp stay. Overcoming fears and challenging oneself to attempt something that seems impossible can lead to great feelings of accomplishment and improved confidence. With the support and encouragement from cabin mates and counselors, campers feel on top of the world after successfully trying something they feared.

For the camper with a fear of maneuvering a sailboat on a windy day, getting in a boat day after day with a qualified instructor and learning the necessary skills in more manageable conditions will go a long way towards building self-assurance. Small steps lead to bigger steps over time for trusting one’s own abilities to handle a boat in less desirable weather. This is an example of working up to do something hard that leads to something good, a theme Dr. Mogel stresses. The camp environment offers a supportive place for kids to learn how to overcome fears and accomplish things they didn’t think were possible (and develop a newfound enjoyment for an activity that initially caused worry or anxiety!).

If a camper doesn’t want to do an activity because they don’t think they’ll like it based on their preferences or perception of themselves, trying something different offers an opportunity for expanded confidence. Campers who see themselves as non-athletic and more adept at target sports may shy away from the more physical activities. Yet trying and accomplishing them could change self-perception in a positive way. Campers who don’t perceive themselves as “outdoorsy” may dread going on a canoe trip. It is quite possible that the experience of cooking and sleeping outdoors could lead to an expanded view of oneself and an appreciation for the many different facets of a personality.

Sometimes, the activity a camper thought would be their least favorite becomes a favorite!

So, when a camper tells us all the reasons why they “don’t want to” or “can’t” do an activity this summer, we will continue to encourage them to “give it a try,” because we know the hidden blessings in the least favorite activity.

Reference: https://goldarrowcamp.com/the-blessing-of-the-least-favorite-activity/